Step By Step Guide To Helping Your Child Deal With Divorce
Divorces are definitely not pleasant and can drain one in more ways than one. Children are the actual casualties of divorces. Children have to undergo the divorce as well and not just the concerned couple. The impact of divorce on kids can at times be felt a long time afterwards. If the divorce is not handled well, the effects of the divorce can be felt way into adulthood. If the decision to have a divorce is final, what then can a parent do to help the child deal with divorce?
The first thing you must do is to listen. Pay a lot of attention to what your child is saying as this will help your child know that he or she is being heard. Maintain a healthy relationship with your child as this will help them open up about the divorce along the way and you can work it all out together.
Then you shall need to break the news to the child in person. This has to be done by both parents at the same time. Practice this discussion beforehand so that by the time you are doing this, you shall have worked out how to do so without bringing in feelings of anger, resentment, hurt and blame. Look into what is co-parenting to see what it is all about and also study the child support guidelines
. Respond to their questions as this will help your child understand more about what is to happen.
Kids will have to react but not all at the same time and you should acknowledge this. It goes without saying that the kids will react but it is important to help them through it all. Tell them that you care about how they feel and it is okay that it is okay for them to be upset. Not all kids will react as soon as the divorce is finalized but they might hold to their feelings a little bit longer. This is an attempt to please you as the parent or as they avoid to feel the difficult feelings of sadness and hurt. Give them time and let them know that when they are ready, you are there for them. Here's a good read about kids deal with divorce
,check it out!
It will come a time when they need to cope with their reality and it will not be easy. It is normal for them to hope that things would go differently and their parents would be back together in no time. It is normal for them to miss their family and all their hopes and dreams as a family. Let them know that you understand what they want but don't encourage them and give any false promises. Encourage them and let them know what your plans are so that they won't have false hope.